The female gaze and why it pisses me off

In the process of writing my rough draft for this class, I have been looking into the male and female gaze. In case you aren't familiar with these concepts, here's a quick summary as told my dinosaurs:
All that I keep thinking about when I study the male and female gazes is what one of my profs told me last year. She said to the class that there is no inherent "female gaze" and that when women objectify men and other women they are looking with the male gaze, imitating men. She said that women do not naturally objectify men, or women, or themselves. Apparently women only appreciate physical beauty because men do.

What a lot of bullshit. It seems to me that a lot of new feminist theory is incredibly counterproductive and seeks to completely desexualize women in any way possible, but the worst part in my mind is how degrading it makes all gaze and, by extension, all sex. We are working so very, very hard to make women hate sex and sexuality here! Women frequently and socially deny their gaze because they are told that it's wrong, that only men look with desire. That's ridiculous. Aside from asexual people, everyone has desire for something or someone and there is a visual association. No, girls, don't pretend you don't stare at pretty eyes or pretty arms or pretty butts. We might not all be vocal about it, but we all gaze. Pretending that we don't, or that our sexuality is solely determined through our victimization by men (who you really can't blame that much for staring because if the penis were located in the center of the torso less than a foot away from the eyes, we would stare to).

Ugh. This isn't terribly well written. I'm angry, I'm ranting about this because I'm angry and I know it. My issues with the gaze are very similar to my issues with the idea of holding doors and things like that. Yes, there are instances where it is very wrong, very offensive, and incredibly sexist. We have all experienced that. But that doesn't mean that, in all instances, gazing is antifeminist or holding a door open is degrading. It is a normal part of life. I feel that feminist theory tends to focus on little things like doors in order to keep people feeling afraid and marginalized instead of focusing on bigger issues like salary differences or the right to make informed decisions about your own body. There is such a willingness to be offended that persists. We want to be offended so badly that we degrade ourselves and invent problems. When someone thinks I can't write code or grill a burger because I'm a woman, I get angry. That is a situation where yes, we can get pissed off (and hey, I can't grill a burger because I'm a vegetarian, the girl thing has nothing to do with it. I bet that when I learn I'll be able to kick your ass at burger grilling, though). That's a situation where I start yelling and I work my butt off to prove them wrong. But when someone tells me that I have nothing to do with my physical attraction to someone, that I like this guy's eyes or that one's freckles because men told me I should, that makes me so much more angry.

bad dreams and odd awakenings

I had never had that experience of waking up with a charley horse...until about 3 this morning. Yes, I flailed, yes, I did the weird arm wiggle-y. bug-like thrashing, and yes, I accidentally made the damn things come back after it finally stopped because my poor confused body was still jumping all over. This is a bit too much of a coincidence for me, so I'm blaming you guys. Thanks?

My German copy of Die Verwandlung just came in.

Some German info

As the only German student in our class, I feel the need to share my "expertise". Some of this will be pointless. Some will (hopefully) not. I just feel the need to be more German--I haven't been German enough in class yet.

So, I know that I talked about doors in class, but another interesting thing is the German window. A typical German window has a glass pane (like ours), no screen, and a Rollladen. Many have window dressings like shutters or curtains as well.

This is what a Rollladen looks like:

This Rollladen is open, allowing some little light to go in.









This one is closed

















Rollladen translates into roll away shutter (there are three ls because German makes a lot of sense--the word for roll away is roll and the word for shutter or shop is laden so they stick the two together. I love German because even if you don't know a word you have a really good chance at figuring it out anyway). Rollladens come down externally (that is, on the outside of the house) and are frequently made of metal (if I'm remembering what I learned in 240 correctly, that is).

A little more on German architecture:
1. While they frequently have a special entryway to mark the transition from the Privatraum (private realm) and Öffentlichkeit (general public), they very rarely have hallways. Rooms transition directly into each other with no wasted space between.
2. Germany is very densely populated, so Germans tend to build up instead of out. They will have several small rooms stacked on top of each other instead of many large, spacious rooms.
3. There are very strict rules for entering a Bekannter's house (that is, someone you know but not well enough to address informally). Just showing up and bursting in is incredibly, incredibly rude.

German is beautiful and completely insane, and hopefully, my German copy of Die Verwandlung will show up early enough for me to read along.

A few of my favorite German words, just because they make me smile:
chillen (past tense : hat gechillt) --to chill or hang out
googeln (past tense : hat gegoogelt) --to google

I'm also a big fan of beobachten (to observe) and Opferbereit (willing to sacrifice, often referring to martyrs). Something about the shapes of those words is particularly appealing to me, I'm not sure why.

abstracts, blergh

I have a very clear idea of what I want to write in my paper. I have collected evidence. I am confident that my thesis is both defendable and debateable.

Still, I'm pretty sure that my abstract sucks.

I know that I tend to be long-winded so I'm trying to correct that, but I'm afraid that I'm over-correcting. I'm also having trouble not giving away the punchline, so to speak.

One way or another, I'm going to end up writing an interesting paper. We'll just see if Harry likes the abstract or not, I guess.